•  GOD IS MERCIFUL AND GRACIOUS  •

A couple of years ago I went, in the evening, to my usual Friday night Adoration and Mass. For a few days, I had been troubled interiorly by some sins from the past that were weighing greatly upon me and disturbing my spirit. I was sure that I had confessed them years ago, but I also knew that the ancient serpent likes to throw these past sins in our face to keep us agitated even though the mercy of God has already long forgotten them. It is always a very good thing to talk to the priest about what is tempting us, as it helps us to grow in humility which always makes the devil take flight. I went to Confession and knelt down to say my penance.  After that I opened one of my favourite books, ‘In Sinu Jesu’ which contains Christ's conversations with a Benedictine monk. I opened it to a random page and this is what I read: 

"I have always loved you and I will continue to love you, to protect you and to draw you to myself until you are one with Me forever in heaven. Be at peace. Have no fear. My love for you is assured and My mercy has blotted out those sins that still cast a shadow over your memories of the past. I forgive you 

and I heal you as I will forgive and heal those who were caught up with you in the web of evil by which the Enemy sought to destroy you and pull you after him  into the abyss of darkness and torment that is the lot of those who refuse My Heart's merciful love. My Heart condemns no one to hell; My Heart grieves over every soul that withdraws from My willingness to receive it into the embrace of My forgiving love. Believe in My mercy, trust in My mercy and through your belief and trust in the mercy of My Heart, 

many souls will be spared the pains of hell."

I was stunned and overjoyed by what I read! Random page… it was not!  I sat before the Monstrance and wept. It seemed as though His light radiated  outward from the Eucharist towards those in the church. 

I bathed in the mysterious and awesome mercy of God that came from the Sacrament of Confession, 

from His Real Presence in the Eucharist and from Christ's words in that book. We are given these moments of consolation not because we are good but simply because He is all mercy and graciousness towards His weak and fragile children, in order to aid us in continuing on our journey forward towards our transformation in Christ. Deo Gratias.

•  THE MAN IN THE ALCOVE  •

In 1991, while taking some nursing courses, I was riding the bus through the seedier part of Vancouver. 

I welcomed the bus ride in order to relax from a multiplicity of thoughts and stresses of school and to simply watch the world go by. 

The bus pulled up at a stop where people were waiting to board. Beside the bus stop there was an alcove between two shops and within the alcove there was a worn-out looking man sitting on the stoop.

He had long unwashed stringy grey hair, and an even longer dark baggy coat that seemed much too warm for the beautiful spring weather.

His eyes looked up and met mine. Our eyes locked for only a brief moment. I smiled at him and then my heart broke. When I smiled, he immediately lowered his eyes and what I saw in those eyes permeated my soul to its depths. I saw embarrassment, self-loathing, guilt, so much suffering, loneliness, sorrow and insecurity.  As the bus began to pull away and his eyes remained lowered, I began to cry. 

I cried and cradled him all the way home.

Here was a soul who probably considered his life to be a ton of wasted bricks, missed opportunities, 

laden down so low with sin and disappointments and yet the Lord chose to reveal Himself to me through this fragile frame of a man whose woundedness so attracted me.

Many years later I was in the Adoration Chapel in London and he suddenly came to my mind. The more I pondered him, the more my soul was filled with an interior joy that brought a flood of tears and such poignancy, leaving me feeling overwhelmed in this golden moment of grace.

Beloved Jesus, I believe that heaven is filled with these 'tiny sparrow' souls, who like poor Lazarus, 

were last in this world but are now in the bosom of Abraham. Scarred, shunned, harshly judged, 

spat upon, ignored and invisible but who are now first because you promised it! Yes, I know they must 

be judged but I believe they will be judged solely through the prism of your merciful heart. You know their beginnings and You know their end. Last they were but now they are first. Oh, how I worship your Divine Mercy Lord! Only you can take the corn husks of our woeful existence and transform them into a banquet fit for other Christs. You will turn this world upside down! And oh, how sweet it will be to meet this man in heaven. I will gaze again into his gentle eyes and see nothing but You Lord... nothing but You.

Have mercy on all your 'tiny sparrows' Lord.

•  THE LONG AWAITING  •

Bartimaeus, how many tortuous hours of your life had you spent sitting by the side of the road begging, before that glorious moment when Christ passed by? It was in God's plan to come and minister to you that morning to reveal His glory and to reward your patience and to have mercy on your misery.

All those years spent under the blazing sun with the sand-filled wind whipping against your emaciated flesh, prepared you for His visitation.

How much joy you gave the Lord that day when you cried out His name… JESUS, SON OF DAVID! 

In that moment you acknowledged His Kingship, when so many decried Him. The more they rebuked you the louder you cried out. This was your supreme moment of hope and nobody was going to steal it from you. You begged for Christ's mercy and it was given you.

Bartimaeus, your faith saved your soul and your unwavering hope healed your body. The scriptures tell us that after you regained your sight, you followed the Master on the way as a disciple, only now joyfully free of the need for a cane and a beggar's tin cup.

Oh Bartimaeus, in the disciples' words, we too hear the voice of God speaking to us, saying 

"Take courage; get up, Jesus is calling you!" St. Bartimaeus, pray for us that WE may see!

•  ANGELS IN THE MEADOW  •

A few years ago, I had the most beautiful dream. A dream like no other I have ever had. This was not the kind of dream where things that make absolutely no sense intertwine with things that do. It was a dream of razor sharp clarity and an all pervading heavenly peace. I was sitting in a summer meadow surrounded by flowers, trees tall bushes and shrubs that reminded me of my childhood years in England. I sat in the meadow in complete peace. Peace pervaded everything.....the sky, the meadow, the world around me and the world within me.

At my right side, a dog lay very close to me. He looked very much like a Golden Retriever. I felt an immense closeness and friendship with this beautiful serene creature. We were intimate companions. 

We sat together absorbed in the peace that surrounded us. Then out from the thick foliage sauntered three majestic creatures that looked like a cross between a large dog and a lion, but they were neither. Slowly they lumbered towards us and proceeded to lie down on the other side of me. As I gazed upon them I was so struck by how each creature emanated a different virtue, nobility and inexpressible dignity.

There was no time in this place, only an 'eternal now'. Not a word was spoken, yet all was communicated. We basked together in the warmth of the sun and the beauty that surrounded us. There was a natural joy, a simplicity in being in each other's presence. I would have remained in that place forever. I did not want to leave it, but slowly began to awaken from sleep. On awakening I became confidently aware of who these majestic visitors were. They were St. Michael, St. Raphael, St. Gabriel and my guardian angel.

In the early 80's our oldest son Luke chose St. Michael for his Confirmation name. He spent 12 years in Canada's Armed Forces as a peacekeeper in places such as Bosnia and Kosovo. How many prayers I said on his behalf to St. Michael to keep him safe and he did return unharmed.

Our second son, David, was very ill as a child and we had to watch over him closely as he almost died twice from asthma attacks. David was born on October 24th, which was the Feast day of St. Raphael and still is in the Traditional calendar. From an early age, I placed him under St. Raphael's care. Many were the nights that I sat at the foot of his bed, asking for the 'Medicine of God', Raphael's help. David took Raphael for his Confirmation name. Today, he is healthy and strong. David prayed to St. Raphael for a wife and Raphael found him his dear Vanessa.

Our youngest son , Philip, took St. Michael as his Confirmation name, but I always prayed to St. Gabriel to intercede for him in order to honour all three of the archangels. Philip has had a few close calls with things like accidents or dangerous situations but has always overcome them, I believe, with the help of his guardian angel and St. Gabriel.

Faithfulness to prayer is the chord that binds us to supernatural realities, to heaven and those that live there. Angels have a profoundly important role to play as they live IN the Divine Will and they are messengers of the Divine Will. When I am feeling low or preoccupied and weighed down with the things of the world, I sometimes go within, into the heavenly meadow and relive the joy and peace and friendship of that angelic visitation. Once again, I am bathed in the peace of God that the angels brought me that day. It fills my heart with such thanksgiving and happiness that I was given this amazing grace and I believe that it was a foretaste of the peace that I will experience when I arrive through the Narrow Gate. May my sweet guardian angel, St's Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael guide me and all those people that I love, to safety, where nothing can take away God's peace ever again and where we can all sing in full throated harmony the angels song...."Glory to God in the Highest."